


That Sinking Ship

by Wagnetic



Category: due South
Genre: Episode Related, M/M, Podfic Available, Post-Mountie on the Bounty, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:05:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7784257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wagnetic/pseuds/Wagnetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray gives Fraser a demonstration in buddy-breathing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Sinking Ship

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JackyMedan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackyMedan/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Due South sketches/drawings collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2841719) by [JackyMedan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackyMedan/pseuds/JackyMedan). 



> Two years ago, JackyMedan requested a fic based on one of her drawings. Better late than never!

Ray can’t get it out of his mind. He’s had nightmares about drowning before, sure, but not like these. Not _knowing_ what it would feel like to be so helpless. He can remember so clearly what it was like to see the water rising and know there was nothing he could do. He wakes up gasping some nights, trying to tilt his head up in a vain attempt to keep his mouth and nose above the water and knowing that it’s only going to buy him a minute or two at most. That wasn’t how it ended though. He’s alive to have these nightmares, and that’s because of Fraser.

He was shivering when Fraser told him they had to swim for it and it wasn’t just from the cold water on his skin, but Fraser kept him safe. When Ray got caught in a doorway and couldn’t move, Fraser swam back to him and grabbed him and pulled him along. When his foot got tangled up in rope, Fraser came back _again_ , got him free, and tugged him to the stairs and up to the surface.

But what sticks in his mind most clearly is when he did run out of air. His heart was racing, he was trying to scream without opening his mouth, and somehow Fraser heard him. And Fraser slapped his face, but it wasn’t like the punch from before. There was no violence in it. Fraser was drawing him out of the panic, getting his mind back in his body when it was caught up and swirling in the flood. Then Fraser grabbed Ray’s face in his hands and breathed for him. Ray can’t get that out of his mind either.

And god, he knows how much Fraser cares. He could hear the fear in Fraser’s voice when Fraser was looking for him and shouting his name over and over. Ray wanted to call back, to tell him where he was, and he wanted to tell Fraser that he was okay. That was stupid because he was the furthest thing from okay, that was up there with the least okay Ray had ever been, but he wanted Fraser to be okay too.

And he knows how much Fraser cares from the way he trusted Ray’s instinct in the submarine once they got off the sinking ship. He steered where Ray pointed, and he knows how hard that was. It drives him crazy, the way that Fraser never fucking listens to him, but he kind of gets it too. Fraser will always find the best in every criminal they meet up with, but that doesn’t mean he’s a trusting person. It took Ray a while to figure that one out, but there’s a difference and it’s as wide as the world to Fraser. Fraser knows how to give and give, but he doesn’t have a clue how to let somebody else do the giving for a change. He doesn’t know how to take a damn thing. Wouldn’t know what to do if he was the one breathing air from Ray’s lungs.

That’s what Ray thinks about when he wakes up shivering and looking at his wrists where they’re still bruised and a little scraped up from the way he was tugging at the cuffs. He thinks about how much Fraser cares, and how Fraser grabbed his face like that, all gentle and a little desperate, and he gets this idea. Fraser says the whole buddy-breathing thing didn’t change stuff between them, and Ray thinks he’s probably right about that, because Fraser let Ray make the call in that submarine and Fraser could have gone back to Canada, but he didn’t. Because Ray could have gotten himself out of this life of sinking ships and exploding cars, but he didn’t.

He thinks maybe there was nothing to change, even with something that felt so intimate. He thinks it was there all along for the both of them. And it’s a hell of a risk, especially after getting so close to losing Fraser already, but his gut says that the risk is worth it, and so he starts to make a plan.

* * *

 

He doesn’t have to wait long to act on it, because within a month they’re back to endangering their lives in wildly bizarre ways. This time, they’re trapped in a windowless building filling up with toxic gas, because of course they are. ‘Fire, water, and air,’ Ray thinks dizzily. Maybe next time it’ll be earth and they’ll get buried alive or something. Fraser’s heading towards the basement of all places, and maybe he’s got a good plan going, but Ray can pick the lock on the trap door in the ceiling if he can get up there. 

He tugs on Fraser’s serge and nods his head upwards, points at Fraser and mimes cupping his hands and lifting them. He knows Fraser understands, but he shakes his head and keeps going, and Ray can only follow. And Fraser does get them out right before they inhale enough of the gas to lose consciousness, but Ray could have gotten them out faster and safer and given the way Fraser can’t meet his eyes when Ray coughs and coughs until he gags, Fraser knows it too.

Ray is pretty sure Fraser agrees to go back to his place out of guilt, but whatever, he can work with that. They don’t talk, and Fraser spends the whole ride turning around to look at the back seat even though Dief isn’t saying anything. Ray thinks he hears a mumbled, “I know, I _know_ ,” but he doesn’t ask. There’s a time and a place, and he has more important things to worry about than his partner’s questionable sanity.

He herds Fraser up the stairs, still in silence, and he gives Fraser just enough time to close the door before he backs him into the wall.

“Ray?” Fraser’s voice is no more than a thin whisper, and that’s not the effect of the gas.

“Close your eyes,” he says, and he gets a shock when Fraser doesn’t argue and just does it. Ray tries to use the voice Fraser used on him when he told Ray the story of the Robert Mackenzie and all but hypnotized him. He’s got to keep Fraser quiet for this. “Pretend you’re me,” he says, “in that sinking ship, the Henry Allen. You’re underwater and you can’t swim. You’ve run out of air—you can’t breathe.”

Fraser’s holding his breath now, actually swaying a little on his feet. “Out of desperation, you grab the first thing you can reach and wait for the darkness to take you.” Fraser puts one arm up to cling to the coat rack on Ray’s wall. Ray takes that as a good sign. He doesn’t have the words like Fraser does, but maybe the desperation in his voice is enough.

“When suddenly…” And he takes Fraser’s face tight in his hands. He presses his lips against Fraser’s and breathes air into Fraser’s lungs, long and sweet, and he brushes his hands across Fraser’s cheeks as he lets go.

“Trust me,” he murmurs.

And God, Fraser’s free hand reaches for him. Fraser’s still got his eyes closed but he puts his hand up to Ray’s head and buries it in Ray’s hair. He draws Ray’s head forward again and just rests his head there so they’re brow-to-brow and breathing together. “Trust me,” Ray says again. “Let me in.” And then there’s a little strangled sound like a muffled sob, and Fraser is kissing him. There’s no mistaking it for anything else this time.

Fraser pulls away just enough to say, “I’ll try. I swear I’ll try,” and Ray kisses him back. He reaches up and puts his hand over Fraser’s where it’s still grasping the coat rack and gently takes his fingers from it, guiding Fraser’s hand to rest on his waist. Fraser wraps him in a hug so tight Ray’s breath catches in his throat, but that’s okay. They sway together like waves lapping at the shore, and Ray knows they’re going to be all right.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [That Sinking Ship [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8296532) by [DesireeArmfeldtPodfic (DesireeArmfeldt)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesireeArmfeldt/pseuds/DesireeArmfeldtPodfic)




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